“I’ve always been someone who’s wanted marriage, kids the whole ‘I’ve got my life together look...‘ - Chelse
“I’ve always been someone who’s wanted marriage, kids the whole “I’ve got my life together look” And by the age of 24 I had that minus a baby.
For 3 years we tried, 3 painful years we even started IVF. They soon become the most lonely, upsetting 3 years that in the end cost our marriage.
Endless appointments, bloods, scans and unanswered questions. Behind it all I always had this pain, painful periods, bloating. But was always told it wasn’t real, it was in my head because I was stressed.
After 3 years of starting they finally did a scan to try to indicate the “pain” I was getting. And found swelling on one tube! Finally an answer, they said they’d remove it and all would be sorted. Jump forward 5 months and I ended up in hospital in serve pain again to be told it’s probably my tube playing up, no re scans just sent on my way home with meds and unable to walk well.
Then comes my surgery day, promises of being pain free.. what they planned the do and how it would help.
Surgery was complete and the pain was daft. It turned out that it wasn’t my tube that was the problem it was endometriosis, that had grown throughout and was cms away from causing more damage. It was the reason we couldn’t conceive the reason I had so much pain. The surgeon called said it was a mess when he got in there. But he had cleaned it all out and I was in the best physical shape to have children, although they couldn’t guarantee the surgery had worked.
I might have been in the best physical shape, but mentally I struggled. I had an ended marriage, lost friends and was in no position to have children.
I couldn’t see a point in moving forward, my endo was going to grow back id be back here again in a few years until they would give me a hysterectomy. But I continued and with help from my friends I recovered from my surgery and am slowly coming to terms with the fact life will be harder, the pain i still get but not as bad as before.
I have a whole new chapter in life and it’s not being the girl who’s married and that’s it. I’m starting a business, im beginning to love myself even with the scars and flaws that’s endo brings. I have bad days but most I rock them and take it day by day. I’m 25 with a failed marriage, and no children but I love where I’m going.” - Chelse
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